I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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