he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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