yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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