Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
