Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
