Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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