She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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