I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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