We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
