Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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