I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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