Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
