Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
