I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
