it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
