my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
