Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
