Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
