hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I didn't notice because vodka
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
