everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
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I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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