you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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