Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
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I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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