**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
