hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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