Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
