I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
