it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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