strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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