You just made me feel so damn special
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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