i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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