I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
