I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
