The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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