Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
