I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i now understand why vodka
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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