I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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