Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
