dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
