i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My penis needs a shock collar
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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