yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
