WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize