If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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