So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
