this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
