I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
