I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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