imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You coming home soon, man?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.