I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.