We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.