absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF