And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
