guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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