I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
