just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
