My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
