Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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