u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
