IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
