I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
