if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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