just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
